Remember This.

The last 3 days have been long & hard. I have been on my own more than normal & the effects are starting to show.

Yesterday, Olivia fell {again} at the park, hitting her head on the concrete. Worse yet, she was right at my feet & I just couldn't grab her in time.

Every time this happens it is heart stopping. She cries & I cry. And I hate it.

I hate being a paranoid mother & even more, having a reason to be paranoid. It doesn't suite me well.

So needless to say, I have been a little tense the last 24 hours. Watching her like a hawk to make sure there are no signs of swelling or change in her behavior...you know, everything her pediatric surgeon has told me to watch for.

lame.lame.lame.

That being said, tonight as we were winding down for bedtime, Zack was busy watching a little show, so I decided to take a minute to check my email. Olivia was, of course, right by my side, but instead of emptying out the bookcase like she normally does, she was literally right under foot...giggling & giggling...crawling...climbing & giggling some more.

She was cracking me up.

So I stopped checking my email & we played.

And it dawned on me that she is the cutest peanut around & sometimes gets buried under doctor appointments & diagnoses. I'm so busy watching her, that I am missing her.

And I don't want to miss her.

She is learning to walk & she is so darn proud of herself. She gets standing up & then pushes my hands away, taking a step & then giggling until she topples over & then up all over again. I can't wait until she is walking because really, she is tiny & it is funny looking. She is dying to keep up with Zack & loves to laugh at his antics.

And I love to watch her come alive. I feel like, regardless of her fall yesterday, we are finally coming out of the woods with her. I am finally beginning to see the real Olivia. Her personality is starting to resemble more & more of Zack's. She is a goer & a doer, just like her brother & I realize they are going to keep me on my toes! Hopefully, we can avoid anymore accidents or illnesses & I can continue to more fully enjoy her, because man, I love that girl.

And even better? She is a snuggler.