I just got back from dinner with some friends & can I just say girlfriends are the best. They push me to be wiser, kinder & to try a bit harder. They challenge my thinking & validate my fears. I love discussing just about any topic with these girls which is so refreshing. They aren't "just" stay-at-home moms. They are learners & thinkers. They can talk politics & poopy diapers, careers & carseats.
Tonight the discussions centered a lot on the power of our thoughts. Thoughts=words=actions=reality. I have been thinking on this a lot lately & am glad that they have been too! The past several weeks I have been striving to take more control of my destiny. By that I mean really taking stock of where I am at, where I am going & where I want to end up & then looking to see if I am taking the necessary steps to get there.
This past weekend General Conference was a huge boost. I felt like so many of the talks could be incorporated right into my life...it has given me much food for thought. I am trying to write down more things, pay attention to where my thoughts are & keep them in a positive zone, or at least a patient place. I am looking for the triggers that veer me off course & finding others that can help to get me back on course quickly when I lose focus.
You might remember this post...my scripture reading. I have made progress, but it has been a struggle. I hate to say that...a struggle to read my scriptures? I mean c'mon. I'd think I could do better than that. So I have begun a new approach & while I might not be completely through the Book of Mormon by Thanksgiving...I think in the long run, this habit might actually stick, which is probably more important. So here it is (compliments of another friend)...each morning I (try to) get up before Zack. I spend about 30 minutes reading either in the BofM, another Conference Talk or my Sunday School lesson...anything gospel related. I don't read the entire 30 minutes & it could probably be classified more as studying as sometimes I just think about one paragraph...anyway, it is just 30 minutes of pure bliss. A time to be alone and like the primary song says, search, ponder & pray. It is a moment during my day for me to connect with myself. Do any of you feel like you lost yourself somewhere when you had kids? I sometimes find myself wondering where the "old" me went & when that person might return. These days, I don't really want the "old" me to return as I have obviously grown & changed a lot, but there has been this one component missing & I feel like this quiet time helps me to feel like myself again. To be honest, I feel like I lost myself completely when Zack was born...to the point that I didn't know who I was anymore because I wasn't ever by myself...I'm sure you can all relate, or maybe none of this even makes sense. Anyhow, I guess my point is this...take time for yourself & don't begrudge the fact that that time might be at 6 am...that is okay.
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5 comments:
Amy that is such a great post and information that never changes. It seems no matter how hard you try, there is always more to work on, things to relearn and improvements to be made.
I also think fabulous friends are priceless, thanks for a mind-stimulating evening. and a renewed committment to spend some personal time recapturing those things that get put on the back burner when children become the priority. I'm proud of you for carving out that time and not forgetting that we have identities outside of motherhood.
Amy,
Great post! I have been thinking a lot lately about these same things. Balance is so important. Isn't morning time the best to read and just sit before those little ones get up? For me once I get up I love it, but it is sooo hard! When it is hard to do it I just remember how great I felt those early mornings in Nauvoo after a good run, to sit down and read my scriptures!
http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,538-1-4040-1,00.html
When you were talking about what a new person you are now, it reminded me about something I read recently- someone said 'I can't believe that I still signed the same name on my checks after becoming a mom'- she had changed into such a different person she felt like she needed a new name. While I think it's so good to have non-mom time, ESPECIaLLY for scripture study, it also sounds like you are embracing your new role and that's so great because there is such an incredible amount of love that comes with it that is ours for the taking- good for you for finding an awesome balance!
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