Happy Birthday Ryan!

Since I have zero pictures of Ryan...this one will have to do. It is probably better that he gets a family picture as opposed to one of just him...his girls definitely make him look better! By the way...this isn't a birthday tribute, it is a birthday roast...no need to be nice on the person's birthday. That's not how we Boyers roll.

Today is Ryan 31st birthday & he is the oldest & "favorite" of all the Boyer kids. Favorite you may ask...as in, there is a favorite? Yes, in fact there is one & it is him. And while I am not sure how it all came about it is his title & my mom dotes on him accordingly! Although if Kevin plays his cards right, he may come out on top as the fave.

As the oldest growing up Ryan was always sure to fulfill his "oldest" duties, all under the guise of being the favorite, so he therefore always got away with it. A few examples? Sure...I'd be happy to oblige.

1 - When I was little (6 or 7) he told me I was adopted & not only that, but that the people paid them to take me. Even worse, he said, "Go ask mom." So of course I do & guess what? She plays along with it!

2 - He & his friends used to duct tape me up, with Lindsey's assistance.

3 - He & his friend, Jeff, used to make me & my friend Christie have boxing/wrestling matches. They even built a make shift ring & announced us from our corners (I have therefore passed this onto to Kevin...)

4 - He used to sit on my stomach with his knees holding my arms down tapping on my chest all the while acting like he was going to spit on me...you know letting it dangle dangerously close & then pulling it back in...although sometimes it actually fell. (This has also been passed on to Kev minus the spitting..that's gross)

5 - When Lindsey & I were playing Barbies he would try to bring in his GI Joes & kill all the Barbies...only sometimes did they co-exist

6 - He used to collect baseball & basketball cards. His favorite player was Darryl Strawberry...you know the drug addict. I think he was secretly thrilled when the Suns picked up DJ Strawberry (his son) & I wouldn't be surprised if he had a secret stash of DJ Strawberry cards under his bed.

7 - Growing up he would never be grounded for his full term (remember, he's the favorite) in order to get out of his grounding he'd tell my mom of his plans & ask permission...my mom would say, "go unload the dishwasher & then you can go"...like big freakin' deal...

The list could go on & on & while it may seem that he was a harsh older brother, he was quite the opposite. He did lots of fun things with us as well...like make us make a Guns & Roses music video for my parents (it wasn't really a video, we just performed it for them in our living room...he was Axel, Lindsey was Slash, with a wig & tennis racket & I was?? hmm, I don't remember...probably a groupie...or the blonde guy)

Ryan is the perfect oldest child for our family. You know you think about those people in your life that you could go to with any problem or situation & they'd handle it perfectly? That would sum up my brother. He's a lot like my dad, which is a good thing. I like to listen to his thoughts & advice & I usually agree, or just do what he says because I know he probably knows something I don't & I am willing to trust his judgment. He's a fabulous dad to his 4 girls...he's got them naming all the Suns players! He's super fun & can usually make any family gathering better with a stupid game or dance move he made up for the occasion. All in all, I love him to pieces & am so grateful for his example.

Happy Birthday Ryan!
As a reward for making it this far...please enjoy the above picture. This is the funniest picture I could find of him & sums him up great...you know, being a dork & making the rest of us laugh! This was taken on the boardwalk in Newport at about 9 am while we were eating donuts. Napoleon Dynamite come to mind? Most definitely!