Deep Thoughts...by Jack Handy

Last night Zack helped me to make blueberry muffins. He was so dang cute helping to do every little task. All of a sudden he seems so big. He'll get the bowl, pour the mix, stir...and oh yes, lick the spoon {our favorite part!}
So of course, I had to take his picture & any time I take a picture, I wonder...will this make the blog? Which I thought was a silly thought...almost as if I live my life for blog posts?!? Weird.

Although 10 years ago when I was scrapbooking my little heart out I remember doing similar things. Like finding a flower garden & taking a cute picture with your friend to scrapbook it with that cute floral paper you had to buy...or going to take pictures playing in the rain because you had the cutest word phrase you'd been dying to use. Was that really life? And would you have played in the rain otherwise? Probably not.

So then I got to thinking about my blog & if it was an accurate depiction of my life. I would definitely say it is more accurate & detailed than my old scrapbooks, but there are definitely some "created" moments.

Like the playing in the rain stuff...okay I actually I've always really liked playing in the rain, but let's use that as our example. Do we do those things for the blog/scrapbook picture or for the actual moment? And in the end does it matter what our motivation was in the beginning if we did indeed have a great moment?

Anyway, I will be the first to admit {okay probably not the first} that my blog has some holes in it. I don't post pictures of myself when I've just rolled out of bed...although I seldom reach for the camera at that time. I carefully edit my frustrations with a certain 2 year old. I don't mention that sometimes my husband can drive me crazy, which I am certain I do the same in return. I leave out that some days find me feeling tired, lazy or unsure of myself.

And while all those holes are important growing aspects of my life, I still think my blog captures my true self...or the true self I am seeking to become. My true self is an overly optimistic dreamer & frankly I like to focus on the good. Really...I am totally a "glass is half full" kind of girl. I think this quality can sometimes drive Scot crazy, but it's true. I am generally a very happy person...and can usually find the good, funny or silver lining in a situation, and thus my blog tends to be happy.

Before Zack was even born I had made the decision that I was going to enjoy being a mother. Hard? Yes. Tiring? Most Definitely. Frustrating? Of course. But worth it? Overwhelmingly. And I'd heard too many grown women with empty nests lament that they wished they'd enjoyed it more...put down the dish towel & pick up the crayon. And I'd seen too many peers gripe & moan through the process that I had made up my mind, that I was going to do everything in my power to enjoy it. If it is worth doing it is worth doing well, right? And motherhood is one thing I want to do well. I don't want to just endure it, I want to love it. I want to blossom in it.

Which brings me to my rambling point. I think happiness is a choice. And why it took me so long & so many rambles to get there...don't know, but I think it is a choice and I am making deliberate choices to be happy & enjoy the moments & I suppose my blog reflects those choices.

Okay...maybe this all sounds funny & jumbled...I'm sure my mom will call me if so. I'm going to start dinner...and enjoy it dang it!

And if your just here for the pics and made it through that post, here is the belly at 23 weeks. crazy. this chick-a-dee is going to get here way too fast. {And in case you were wondering...I did put a comb through my hair before taking this & it took my about 10 tries. Why is it that self-portraits are so awkward to take?}