Worry Post

Someday soon I am going in for a scheduled C-Section to bring this little sissy into the world. I'm thrilled with the thought of NOT being pregnant anymore, as it really has gotten quite cumbersome. But tonight I am consumed with worries.

I am giving myself this one blog post to relieve myself of the worries & then I must move on as it is completely out of my hands & frankly, I don't like being a worrier.

This will be my 3rd C-Section. Yes, you read that correctly. No, it doesn't add up. 3rd C-Section for my 2nd baby. Prior to the Scoobs I was diagnosed with fibroid tumors on my uterus, which required a C-Section to have them removed, so that was #1, the Scoobs was #2 & this sis is #3. Fibroid tumors are benign tumors that are most common in African American woman of post child bearing age. At the time I was a 22 year-old white girl with no kiddies. An anomaly. What they thought were 2 baseball sized tumors turned out to be 1 large dumbbell shaped tumor. So large, I lost a pant size after the surgery. How's that for a weight loss strategy?

Tonight my worries center on a few things, the main one being that this is my 3rd C-Section & according to the research I've done thus far after 3, it is a case by case basis as to how many you can have. This isn't to say I couldn't have 10, but from here on out, it is case by case. This just bums me out. I don't want to have to deal with it and I suppose that is why I've just kept it to myself. Hidden it away as if I wouldn't have to face it.

I'm nervous about what scarring they might find & the complications that arise from that.
I'm nervous that my uterus won't hold up.
I'm nervous they will tell me no more. This is it.

I'd rather not know.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

But since I'm no longer pretending to be ignorant to the fact, it is time to step up, face the facts {whatever they might be} and then be happy about it.

Okay...my "worry" post is done. We are moving on.